← Blog Nov 12, 2021 · Ian Greenleigh · Originally published on Medium
How this ad makes me feel. Photo by Yosi Prihantoro on Unsplash
When I heard this ad I made a weird little animal sound; my body reacted before my brain could process it. So, I emailed myself a little reminder to find and fix the offending copy.
If there were an International Copy Court, I’d send this one to The Hague. Until then we have Rewrite Club. Rewrite Club is simple. The original ad. Our reactions. Our rewrites.
Today we’re joined by Graydon Gordian. He’s Head of Marketing at Fractal Software but his real claim to fame is being the guy who came up with the idea for Count Von Count’s twitter account when he was a staff writer for Sesame Street. I did not know that?!? We are in the presence of greatness.
lol
Are you ready? You sure about that, friendo? Buckle. Up.
This time we have the actual recording (thanks, Felix!)
Marketplace is supported by Gong. Gong enables revenue teams to unlock reality by operationalizing their customer interactions. Revenue intelligence from Gong is designed to help businesses better understand deals, teams, and markets. More at Gong dot io slash marketplace.
That second sentence reads like an unfunny parody of SaaS jargon, or a copywriter’s rage quit. It makes me question the value of free speech for the first time in my life.
Gong enables revenue teams to unlock reality by operationalizing their customer interactions.
I can’t imagine anyone hearing “unlock reality” and having the slightest idea what the hell it means. And then they make us wade through “operationalizing,” a seven-syllable gerund that makes me tired to hear and mad to write about. I think of bad PowerPoints, third-rate management consultants, energy vampires, and people whose favorite color is beige.
The next sentence isn’t actually bad? Was this ad written by two different people?
Revenue intelligence from Gong is designed to help businesses better understand deals, teams, and markets.